Road Cycling Aliens

It has always been a mystery to me why some people seem have such strong opinions about how other people look and then express their opinion, that nobody asked for.


So, I did get my hair cut. As I said in my previous post, I'm gonna work on a mullet and needed something as a base while I let that hair grow because of the undercut that I had before.
Now I have something like this but even shorter:



It did become shorter on the top and in the front than I thought but I like the cut itself. I can see how I can just sit and wait now and my hair always grows pretty fast or at least it feels like it. I did need a day to kinda get used to it and felt kind of insecure when I just left the salon and headed home. Plus...somehow that day I had been feeling anxious overall.

That is one of the reasons why I decided to walk a few stations. On my way a small group of young dudes (teenagers I guess) came towards me. It was a very narrow walkway and as I passed them - just minding my own business - one of them burped loudly. So, that was his comment. And I don't think I'm paranoid. It was one of those burps that don't happen accidentally and it was right beside me, totally on purpose. For context: I am born female and consider myself a woman but I am masculine presenting. I don't mind wether they think I am male or female, as long as people stay friendly and respectful.
I think the new hairstyle made me look even more masc but I was wearing a shirt with a flower pattern with shorts and shaved legs which probably is a mix that some people can't handle for some reason and gave me away as "neither nor". If that day I had dressed differently, maybe on first sight they would have assumed I am male and I would have been left alone.

I ignored them and pretended I didn't notice or care and moved on, but I'm still thinking about it. I know, could have been much worse. But it is on my mind and this morning in the shower I thought about how it reminds me of the past, sort of a throw back got triggered. Stuff like this happened to me in the past. Well, the most recent thing was only a few years back with some idiots in a train who were talking about me as "it" and as if I wasn't there, finding themselves very funny.
But everything else is further in the past. In a past in which I wasn't really presenting masculine yet. And people still found other things to bully me for or make fun of. That went from stupid jokes, over insults to physical attacks, the latter was when I was still going to school. Just because they found me "weird" or my hat was funny or whatever.

I had a phase when I dressed feminine and no "weird" or "too colorful" stuff to offend anyone with. That was the time I was left in peace. How sad.

I also remember a particular day in winter at a time where I was noticably female but I was wearing a very pink beanie with a pompom. That was the only thing "weird" about me and still some guy made fun of it during christmas market where 50% of the people wore santa hats. Completely acceptable.

Are people really that close-minded? Are they really this stupid and backwards? Can they really, really feel threatened by the fact that they don't know how to categorize a complete stranger on the street? Do they really feel an uncontrollable need to express their opinion about it and try to force an interaction? Do they try to "expose" the "weird" person and what do they gain from that? The only thing I can really think of is: they "expose" the "weird" person in front of their mates ("haha a freak") and get their approval ("oh yes, so weird. You are completely right and you're so funny for pointing it out"). I don't get it... but now that I rambled about it, I will try to let it go.

via GIPHY